Myspace for Worry-Wart Moms

OK, so unless you live under a rock or are Amish, you probably have heard lots about Myspace.com.

I have one, and I love it! I talk to a lot of friends that I otherwise would never get the opportunity interact with. Almost every celebrity has one, and it is a lot of fun to personalize your page with backgrounds and music.

A big part of Myspace is posting photos. I have a lot of me, my friends, and my husband. However, I have none of my child. People ask me ALL the time, "where are pictures of that beautiful baby?" and "Why don't you have any pictures of your kid?"

I am completely torn over this subject. I love my child, I think he is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen! People stop me in stores and various places just to tell me how breathtakingly cute my baby is! But, being a Worry Wart, I am scared to death to post any pictures (or any other personal information) about my kids online. Yes, I know that only my friends can see my pictures, but once you put pictures on the web, are they ever really private?

First, let's define "Friend" in Myspace lingo. You can choose who is allowed to view your profile by choosing your "Friends" but how well do you really know each and every one of those people? If you have celebrities, musicians, or other fan sites as "friends" then the group of people running that site (and trust me, Patrick Dempsey does not run his own Myspace) can view your profile. I believe that many of this fan sites (that are unofficial) may be clever predators.

So, if I post a picture of my little one on my page, how can I feel 100% sure that only people I trust will see it? Unless you have only close friends as "friends," you really can't. Seriously, what do you really know about that boy you went to high school with 15 years ago that live 8 states away?

I am an adult. I choose who I talk to. I have alot more knowledge than, say, an 8 year old kid whose Mom has her Junior Cheerleader photo (with her town name on her shirt) posted on her Myspace. So, if a stranger says "Hey, I know you," I will be smart enough to know better. If someone comes up to Junior Cheerleader and says "I know your mom who works at (insert Myspace info here) and we went to high school at (insert Myspace info here) and she told me to pick you up today," will they know better?

Do I know people who put their kid's pictures on Myspace? Of course. Do I think they are being careless? No, not at all. But for me and my Worry-wartness, I would rather have the piece of mind that my child is safe than 15 picture comments telling me how cute my baby is (which I already know.) So, at the risk of people thinking that I am embarrassed of my child's crossed eyes, buck teeth, or fourth arm growing out of their head, I keep my Myspace page mine.

Never post photos anywhere on the Internet that may give information on your address, hometown, last name, work place, etc.

What is Wrong With These Women?

Ok, I get it. I am neither rich or famous. People really don't care if I look fabulous or make "the scene". People don't take notice if I am out partying until Sunday morning. Wait...I know a person who cares...my child!
When you become a parent, you do essentially lose your freedom. No, you are not a slave to a child and you should still retain a social life, but you have a responsibility.

To me it seems that some women think of children as accessories. The pregnant belly looks cute, and those new pink strollers are adorable. Let's face it, a little baby packs a big punch in your life. Gone are the days of jumping in the car and going, even if it is just going to the store. Gone are the late nights out and the opportunity to spend Sunday on the couch recovering. Yes, you lose a lot of small freedoms, but you gain so much.

Even in such as small town as I live in, we have our "Britneys." You hear they are pregnant, see all the pictures and they say all the right things, yet on any given evening they are drunk dancing at the local bar. Am I judging? Yes...yes I am.

I had a friend once (who shall of course remain anonymous) who would pawn her child off on any adult who was willing (maybe even those who weren't) so she could make the "scene. The resentment her daughter feels towards her mother is so thick you could cut it with a knife. And this is a anonymous small time family. What about these celebrity spawns who will be able to look back one day of pictures of their mommies, knowing that while they were at home with nannies watching "Dora" their Mommy was topless dancing with strippers and passing out in the middle of dance floors? I feel so sorry for these children-maybe their mommies should adopt just a little bit of worry-wartness.

Now, I know that being a parent isn't easy. There are days that I can't wait for my husband to get home just so I can "escape" to the bath for a few minutes. My husband and I go out occasionally, and I really enjoy it when I do. But I genuinely love spending time with my child. Maybe I am one of the lucky few that feel this way? I don't think so...I think that if the "Britney's" of the world would try to spend a few extra evenings at home, they would realize that making your child laugh and tucking them into bed feels so much better than a martini buzz. They might realize that their kids are actually fun and extremely entertaining.

Children grow so fast...you will always be able to find beer and dance floors in this world, but you have only a short while to read bedtime stories and tuck in your babies before they can do it on their own.

Now, let's hope I don't break an ankle getting down from my soapbox...


Here a is a website that has great ideas for family fun...

http://www.amazingmoms.com/htm/familyfun.htm

Recall Regrets

One of the most dreaded words that a Worry-Wart Mama can hear is...da da dum…RECALL.

At some point, each and every one of us has been affected by some sort of recall. My new, expensive, and supposedly family safe, SUV has already had two recalls in the two months we have owned it (or should I say in the two months we have made payments on it). My salad mix has been recalled, along with my chili. But nothing is more scary than when a child is directly affected.

One day, while checking up on a recall on my favorite news site, I remember thinking, “My biggest fear would be to see a Similac or Gerber recall.” Low and behold, that same afternoon, Similac had a voluntary recall of some ready-to-feed bottles due to a problem with the lining of the bottles affecting the color and nutrition of the formula. I panicked, thinking that my baby had scurvy, and called the doctor. I called the Similac phone number, and they were very helpful and provided a full refund, but I this experience put me on worry-overload.

I became obsessed with how the formula bottles were sealed. I inspected them all with scrutiny, driving my husband and family crazy. If I opened one and didn’t like the color, I threw it in the trash. I probably threw away hundreds of dollars, but to me, the price was justified by the fact that I did not give my baby anything that I thought may be compromised.

While spending so much time obsessing over the quality of his food, I never thought I would have to worry about the toys that my baby was chewing on. I had heard about excessive lead recalls, but they had always been toys from dollar stores…by buying only name brands, I was being careful…or so I thought!

If you are like me, you enjoy giving your child toys as much as they enjoy getting them! I never would have thought that I could be potentially harming my child! My recall experience taught me a very important lesson... I was very arrogant to think that I had complete control over my childs life. As parents, it is our job to do our very best to provide a safe, healthy, loving, and nuturing enviroment for our child. But no matter how much control you have over one aspect of their life you do not control destiny. Now, I am not saying to feed your son moldy cheese and leave it up to God. I am saying that many times, as Worry-Warts, we think that we can control everything when the reality is WE DO NOT.

Secondly, with the proper education we don't need to fear anything! What do you worry about? Know the real risk! When I stopped to think how many bottles of baby formula were fed to children everyday vs. the number of bottles that had been recalled, I began realizing my risks were very low. I gained confidence in myself. I realized that if something were wrong, I was smart enough to see it...I didn't need to spend important minutes of my life seeking them out. I believe this advice can be very helpful for many types of Worry-warts!

As far as the recalled toys, what can we do? With Christmas around the corner, how can we be sure that our children can be 100% safe? Buy all clothes? Hope that Santa brings only stuffed animals? No, we just need to be educated. Mattel has promised that all toys on shelves this Christmas season will be lead free. I proposed that we buy toys made in the USA! A lot of toy makers are listing their toys made in the USA. Here a few links…

http://www.fatbraintoys.com/specials/made_in_america.cfm

http://www.littletikes.com/toys/toys-list.aspx?FS=1&N=26&Ntk=Product+Search&Nty=1&Ntt=made%20in%20the%20usa

http://www.howtobuyamerican.com/

What was your worry? How did you overcome it? Have you been affected by any recalls?
Let me know, I want to hear!

The Worry-Wart's Guide to Pregnancy- Tip #1

The Worry-Wart’s Guide to Pregnancy- Tip #1

It has been said a million times, a million different ways, and will be said a million times more…Being a parent is both the most rewarding and terrifying experience of a lifetime. And if you are like me, the intensity of those feelings (gratification and fear) is one hundred times more strong due to the fact that I AM WORRY-WART MOM!!!


From the moment I found I was with child, the switch was flipped to anxiety-overload. How crazy, do you ask? Three trips to the ER, and about 7 emergency visits to the OBGYN all before I hit the 18 week mark. I attribute these trip to the overwhelming instinct to protect my unborn child and poor internet research. When you are a worry-wart by nature, the hormones of pregnancy can multiple your tendency to worry by the millions. Add some random, unreliable, or misunderstood internet article and you have recipe for craziness!

I submerged myself in all things pregnancy as soon as the pee on the stick was dry. Unfortunately, I didn’t always finish the paragraphs. When I was six weeks, and was sitting in my recliner reading my books when I gazed upon the signs of premature labor, one of which is the leaking of fluid. About fifteen minutes later, with the thought fresh in mind, I was sure that I felt a gush. I rushed to the ER. After sitting in the waiting room for three hours ( I didn’t rate to high on triage during a holiday weekend) and another two in exams, I endured a catheter to inflate my bladder for an ultrasound and bloodwork that told me that everything was just fine. At my 8 week and first visit, my OBGYN found a rather large cyst on my ovary. He was very honest and told about all of the problems that could occur should the cyst not shrink on it’s own. He told me what to watch for (pain, etc) and that we would monitor the size of the cyst. However, he told me that in his experience, the cysts almost always shrink on their own and that I should not worry. Yeah right! I wept the whole car ride home. I knew I would lose my ovary or have to undergo surgery. I of course went straight to the internet. After a straight four weeks of sheer anxiety, and ultrasound showed the cyst had indeed shrunk significantly.

This brings me to my Worry-Wart’s Gide to Pregnancy Tip #1- HAVE FAITH AND KEEP IT!
I should have listened to my OBGYN, who told me on my way to the ER that he had never heard of anyone leaking amniotic fluid that early in pregnancy. But, my worry-wart tendencies made me second guess my very respected and trusted doctor. He told me that in pregnancy, it is very common to have increased discharge, and that was all I was feeling. And even though he had thirty years experience in his field, I chose to lose my faith in him and be uninformed enough to think that my few weeks of internet research was more valuable than his medical degree. Now, don’t get me wrong, if you really feel that something is up, you should always be persistent or get a second opinion. In the back of my head, I knew that I was being overly apprehensive. I have that worry-wart trait that lets that one part of doubt overshadow the 100 parts of certainty.

Now, in order follow my WWGTP Tip #1, you have to have initial trust. Make sure that you have a doctor that understands your personality as a worry-wart. My OBGYN never once made me feel like foolish. He always listened to my worries and complaints, and never dismissed any of them as just anxiety. He followed up on all of my symptoms just as he would with any other patient. And do not be scared to ask questions…essentially, they are working for you!
Of course, looking back, I wish I would have spent less time worrying and more time enjoying the first five months of my pregnancy. As worry-warts, we tend to think that the world is on our shoulders. Think of how wonderful it would be to put that burden on someone you trust! You need to do what you are expected to do…take care of yourself and get ready for that new bundle of joy! If you experience anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell your doctor and trust that he will use his experience and training accordingly. Hand over your burden of responsibility to things out of your control to your family, your spouse, and the Lord and enjoy your pregnancy!



If you find yourself worrying excessively, check with your doctor. He or she may be able to help you or direct you to someone who can. Here are a few links that might give you more info-

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/188_15663.asp



http://www.babycenter.com/0_managing-stress-and-anxiety-during-pregnancy_1683.bc?Ad=com.bc.common.AdInfo%401f7f9fd

And please, if you are a Worry-Wart Mama, I want to hear from you!